It's me

It's me.
But I'm not gonna say who I am.
It's pretty dangerous.
I don't wanna be notorious.

It's me.
You can read my thoughts.
Though some of it are absurd,
Welcome to my world.


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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I am a person who hates goodbyes but ... It's hard to maintain two blogs. Though I love this blog, I have to give it up. So, just visit:

Nevertheless, I shall return.

Posted at 07:15 am by dejo
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Friday, August 25, 2006
My Passion

What is my passion? What is something I can do all day without feeling tired? Sleeping is the first thing that comes to mind but let me think of something productive... Actually, my passion is to share life through acting and writing. When I was in elementary, I casted in small plays and enjoyed it immensely. I knew I was good at it and others thought so too. When I was in high school, I discovered literature. I read a lot and wrote a lot. I wanted to study literature, analyze stories and write new ones. I wanted to express myself in my writings and make it known to the world. I also wanted to portray the characters in the stories I read and write, and share it to the people around me. But what has happened to my passion? Is it gone forever? Or is it just inside me waiting to be tapped again?

Presently, I am a software engineer. I create software. And how is it connected to my passion? I have no idea. I took up computer science because I was interested in it not because I was passionate about it. Besides, I was afraid that what I really wanted had no market value. I had to be practical.

I don't regret anything -- I built eternal relationships in computer science. It is where I met him, him, him and HIM. I excelled in my course but I had to sacrifice my passion for academic excellence. I was not really good in computer science and I had to work harder to achieve excellence. I got soaked in the world of technicalities and somewhere along the way I stopped to see the little things I used to take note of. I stopped reading a lot. I stopped writing. I stopped acting.

But when you love something, it just goes back to you... I am sorry to my passion because I've taken it for granted. Now, it's haunting me to give time and attention to it again. Shall I heed its call?

Posted at 10:43 pm by dejo
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Sunday, August 20, 2006
Shibaraku desu ne

Long time no see! I haven't blogged in a while. No umbrella news anymore. Because it's not umbrella guy anymore. There's someone else now. hahaha.

Posted at 09:33 pm by dejo
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Saturday, July 22, 2006
It's amazing

It's amazing how feelings so strong can just ... vanish. As my friend Pau said, no matter how strong they were, they were just feelings. She's right. Anyways, the topic of how we got closer to God was brought up a while ago at our small group. I was reminded of a guy who led me towards Him.

I really liked him--he was my ideal guy. Well, I didn't really know him but based on the few things I knew about him, he was the man. He talked to me about the God he loved and from there, I started to wonder. What did God do to this person to make him love Him so much?

He invited me to church and because it was him, I didn't hesitate. At church, I wanted to hide myself--I was guilty. Who was I kidding?! I was not there to worship the Lord. I was there to see a glimpse of his world. But it was not his world that I saw. It was His. I was enchanted and then I fell in love.

Now, I and he are part of His world and when I see him, I see him differently. There are no more stars nor hearts nor flowers. I just see someone who was used by Him to call me. And forever, I am thankful.

Posted at 01:37 am by dejo
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Friday, July 21, 2006
I thought he was the one

I thought he was the one
  who will make love start
  and have my heart

I thought he was the one
  who will inspire me everyday
  and will be there come what may

I thought he was the one
  who will be my guide
  and will always be by my side

But I never thought he'd be the one
  who will lead me to the ONE
  yet that's what he's done.

Posted at 09:25 am by dejo
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Sunday, July 09, 2006

I went to church this morning and the word was about suffering. I realized that I have been hurt so many times in my life but God has given me a wonderful ability to not dwell on those things.

The last time I was hurt was one week ago when I found out something I'd rather not know. I seeked it and found it. Be really careful of what you seek and ask for. I was bothered by it for a while but I was easily able to get over it by thinking of the most important thing in life. :)

Now that the hurt is almost gone, I want to talk about it in vague terms. Actually, I asked a question to which I knew the answer already. But it's really different when the answer is confirmed. It pierced my heart, deafened my ears. I wanted to escape from this world and never show up. It was painful because I knew that I inflicted the disaster on myself. Nevertheless, the hurt was not obvious. Perhaps nobody noticed. Perhaps nobody knew. Perhaps nobody will ever find out why.

Posted at 04:51 am by dejo
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Saturday, July 08, 2006
Change the World

My life has drastically changed due to the recent endeavors my Lord has allowed me to experience. I am even more set out to pursuing my goal, to change the world. Soon, I will experience drastic change again. My life will be filled with new lives, new challenges, new adventures... and as I leave the training ground where I am in, the goal will still be with me.

Posted at 02:07 am by dejo
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Saturday, July 01, 2006
goodbye umbrella guy

goodbye umbrella  guy! mark the date. july 1, 2006. i won't look at umbrella guy in that way anymore.

Posted at 12:32 am by dejo
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Saturday, June 24, 2006
Masaya ako

Masaya ako ngayon. Imagine, pinadalhan ako ng letter ni Guian and Carla tapos may card don na pina-sign nila sa mga YSERS. waaah. YSES the best. I'm so touched. I feel so loved.

I don't know pero parang giggly-ditzy ako today. Hindi naman ako kinikilig (walang reason lol) pero parang ang saya saya ko. I asked God, "anong ginawa nyo sakin?" hehehe. Masaya lang talaga ako.

I got to talk to one of my leaders, ate Ira, fun talaga makipag-usap sa leaders. You always get to learn something that you can apply to your daily life.

Tomorrow, Sunday. Ano kayang gagawin ko? Hmmm... I want to do some physical activity. Feeling ko talaga tumataba ako kasi lagi lang nakaupo. Oh well. Di bale na, maganda parin naman. lol.

Posted at 06:27 am by dejo
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Thursday, June 22, 2006
By the River Piedra...

In real life, love has to be possible. Even if it is not returned right away, love can only survive when the hope exists that you will be able to win over the person you desire. Anything else is fantasy. -Paulo Coelho

I took note of these senteces, several years ago from the book, By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept. I don't know why I feel like reading it again. It's like, um, speaking to a lot of people I know (toot toot and toot toot). Including me? Haha. Secret.

Posted at 08:15 am by dejo
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